Find My Way Home Rydon
by gravityisgettingtome
Summary: When your fiancee leaves, who's there to pick up the pieces?    I love Brendon and Sarah together, but I felt like a Rydon. Don't punch me.


Summerlin was always so pretty when the sun set. It was a few miles away from Las Vegas, just a little suburb that no one really knew about. All of the houses were basically bungalows, small palm trees leaning happily over the paved street. The sun always set in an orange - red hue and then the stars would make their imprint in the navy blue sky. I liked to think that we had the best night sky; everything was so clear and silent.

My heart felt like it was falling down a rabbit hole. Maybe it was because it was starting to get dark, or maybe it was the fact that I wouldn't find anyone like Sarah again. She finally got tired of all the fans, threw the ring at me, and left...one week before the wedding. She said that she didn't care what the fans thought at the beginning...

And she just left.

That's why I went back. I needed some time away from all the music, all those women. I needed some time alone. Some time to think because this break up wasn't going to be that easy. She meant the world to me and I thought she was the one. I guess I was wrong, as usual.

I walked past the park I used to hang out at during high school. I couldn't help but smile, instantly thinking about Ryan. It wasn't by choice, but that was all I remembered hanging out with. No other faces really stuck out to me. Everyone left for college after high school, except Ryan. I hated to admit it, but I missed him alot. Not enough to want to see him again, but a lot.

My eyes skimmed the park, just to try and see if everything was the way I remember it. My eyes caught a figure on the little neon blue slide. I know it was dangerous, but I wanted to go over there. My head was telling me to stop, but my heart was telling me to go.

What would it hurt anyway? I had nothing to live for anymore.

I stepped on the grass, some dead leaves cruching under my feet. I jumped a little at the sound. A frown worked its way on my face face and I kept walking, creeping closer to the playscape. The silouette wasn't phased by the constant noise I was making, even though you could hear it a mile away.

"Who's there?" he asked, voice sort of raspy. It sounded familiar.

"What does it matter?" I said with a bit of sass.

The man pulled his hood off, dark brown hair jutting in every direction. He turned and locked his hazel eyes on my own. I knew who it was. "Brendon?"

"Ryan..." he eyes widened. I could feel my heart drop.

He smiled a bit and slid down the small slide. He got off with open arms, offering a hug. I stood there in silence and shock, not moving an inch. I couldn't talk. I don't know how he could offer a hug after he left. Most of all, how dare he even come here.

"No hug, huh?" he mumbled, lowering his arms. "I guess I can respect that."

"Why are you here?" I hissed at him, balling my hands into fists. I was sure that my knuckles were pure white. "What makes you think that you can be here?"

His smile turned to a frown. "Just because I left Panic! doesn't mean this is your city or your park. I was born and raised here, I have just as much right as you do to be here."

I felt my blood boil. It wasn't even the fact that he was here, it was more that he expected me to actually talk to him and hug him. He expected me to forget about how he just left. I fell silent again.

"So, I heard about you and Sarah. I knew she wasn't good enough for you," he said. "Half the girls that you date either hate you or just aren't good enough for you."

"Sarah was a great person!" I shouted, suddenly getting defensive. My feet pushed me forward, and the next think I knew I was in Ryan's face. "She cared more that you would even dream of, she was beautiful, and she actually wanted to marry me, no matter how completely - fucking - crazy I am. I _loved_ her with all my heart."

He glared at me, shoving me back. "If she cared so much, why'd she leave you just like that?"

Ryan could always find a way to make me shut up. I shut my mouth, looking away from him. This felt so weird; I came back for relaxation, not a fight. "Why'd you leave?"

He sighed. "Well... Well..." he started, running his fingers through his thick brown hair. "I came back. I called Spence and asked him what was going on with you. I found out you were coming home, so I decided to come talk to you."

"You act like a talked going to change things."

"I'm pretty sure it won't, but I'm a risk taker, so I might as well give it a shot," Ryan said with that contagious smile of his.

"You'll have to be really good with your words to win me over, I promise you that," I said, watching him closely.

"How would you feel if I said I love you? More than a friend or brother," he asked, moving closer to me. I stood still. "That I want to marry you and grow old with you, wake up in the morning with you in my arms. Let's say that I'd go to the end of the world and back just to see you smile..."

"Then why'd you leave me with Spencer?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, I can't apologize enough," Ryan sighed and grabbed my hand gingerly. "You ground me, Bren. When I feel tem feet tall, you make me feel so much smaller. Since I left, nobody seems to know I exsist. You make me feel like someone, you make me feel whole. Please forgive me, I miss you so much..."

My vision began to blur, but the tears wouldn't come out. He couldn't have really meant al lthat, he was just messing with my heart. I hated Ryan so much for leaving because I couldn't let him go. I loved him from the start. He was cute, smart, funny. Everything I wanted. But Sarah had everything I wanted, too.

Ryan looked at me, waiting for me to say something, but I just couldn't find the words to say. He smiled anyway, letting the hand that was holding mine lower back to his side. "I just had to tell you."

His eyes looked so serious, and this was one of the only times I saw him give me that look. My heart was aching. I looked up at him with a small smile and put my hand to his cheek, pressing my lips softly to his. They were cold against my warm ones, but his lips fit perfect.

I pulled away and he put a small kiss on my nose. "I had a feeling you'd see where I was coming from."

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I gave a small laugh. This felt so natural and right, better than what I ever felt with Sarah. He'd traveled all this way to see me and to talk to me and to make me feel better.

I kissed him again, finally realizing that I am home.


End file.
